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Rita: So one day I confront her and I’m like listen don’t call my house anymore I know it’s you no Rita what are you talking about I don’t know what are you talking about that’s not me I wonder who’s doing that and I’m like just like cut that you know what you know it’s you
[Music]
Rita: hi guys welcome back to the onyx family podcast I’m Rita
Mirthell: I’m Mirthell
Shalom: I’m Shalom
Shiloh: I’m Shiloh
Shasha: Shasha
Sinead: and Sinead
Rita: So you know we just want to talk you know what’s up guys what’s up you know what I’m saying you know what I’m saying
Mirthell: what are you talking about
Rita: you know what I was saying let’s talk you know let’s rap no
Mirthell: I don’t know I don’t know Rita’s trying to sound black right now okay but what is sounding black honestly
Rita: Okay, guys basically what I did was I am talking like that because we got into the discussion as a family like who sounds the blackest now I’m gonna tell you guys when I was younger and you know not trying to make this sad I was called oreo and all sorts of stuff and so what I did was I had a little tape recorder and so what I would do is practice on how to sound black so my favorite saying that I was trying to master was you know
what I’m saying is you know what’s up I used to always I did it over and over again
Mirthell: wow
Shasha: What’s up
Rita: I don’t know it was the way I was saying I’m supposed to be like you know what’s up
Mirthell: yeah, what’s up
Rita: That’s what I kept doing.
Shasha: Black women don’t say that though, Black men do.
Rita: well what happened was I got on the phone and I was talking to this guy who lived in like close to Compton so he’s like black you know and I lived in like the valley, okay and I’m in California
Sinead: okay
Rita: and so when he called he was talking with me and he said listen my friend wants to talk to you and I said oh my goodness this is my time I’m gonna make my debut so I get on the phone I mean he gets on the phone the friend he goes, hey and I go what’s up you know what I’m saying
Sinead: oh my goodness
Mirthell: first of all like Shasha said, girls don’t even do that it’s like dudes, so you’re like he’s like what am I talking to a dude or am I talking to a girl
Rita: so I was like I look back on it why did I do that but so this is what happened though he was like huh you know and I’m like what’s up you know I start going totally in this like black character anyway he gives the phone back to my friend because he’s not having a normal conversation with me because I am trying to sound black now what I hear in between as he’s passing the phone I hear is the white
Mirthell: So even if you try to sound black you still sound like white?
Rita: now there’s nothing wrong with that there’s nothing wrong with sounding it but it’s just that I was trying to represent my identity so when he said that with me trying I got so mad so my friend gets on the phone and I’m like you know what and this is probably when I did sound the black is because I went off on some rant and he was like what’s wrong with you I like nothing I gotta go any way that was my
Mirthell: that’s funny that is funny I mean besides the fact that there are no sounds black because like black people we talk in all sorts of different ways like that’s I am talking like the way I talk and I’m black so this is how black people sound too
Rita: see and the thing about black also is it’s culture so right like for example when my family heard him for the first time they were like oh when he was off the phone and I was just talking with my family because it was on the phone that they met they were like oh tally me banana Rita I didn’t know you were dating a Jamaican and they were putting on there like the Caribbean they’re fake Caribbean places
Shalom: oh please, as if your family’s not a Caribbean themselves
Rita: Well, they’re not Caribbean.
Mirthell: they had some friends on your on her grandparent’s side they’re
Sinead: no but it’s like back it’s like they weren’t born in the creek
Rita: No
Mirthell: on her father’s side they have their Panamanian and so the challenge is that when I heard your mom your grandmother right not your mom because your mom is African-American African-American but when I heard your grandmother on your dad’s side she sounded like she was like completely Hispanic
Rita: Right exactly and that’s the hilarious part so they were like Rita I didn’t know you are dating a Jamaican a then when I talked to Mirthell again, they were like is your grandmother, is she Hispanic is she Mexican Like what is she? And I was laughing and holding.
Mirthell: but I feel like I don’t sound Jamaican like when I’m talking like this
Sinead: I don’t hear it all
Mirthell: but a lot of people do hear it though
Shalom: No, yes for our friends here every time you’re on the phone with some family member, you can put it on.
Sinead: Oh yeah, Turn it on the nth degree.
Mirthell: I wasn’t even born in Jamaica but everybody on my mom’s side, everyone on my dad’s side so I mean it just kind of comes a little bit natural.
Shiloh: a little bit somewhere uh Canadian
Mirthell: yeah I feel like I sound Canadian I think that the Jamaican only comes out when I try to put it on when I’m talking to family members
Shiloh: the fake me accent
Mirthell: you guys sound exactly like how American sounds when they’re trying to be Jamaican yeah man that’s so
Rita: but you know it’s funny because when in living color when they used to have that sketch where it was like a Jamaican family on a living color and they used to say I got two-three jobs you know oh you’re lazy I got six jobs yeah man I used to be like yeah that’s
Jamaican why not I did not know that that was not
Mirthell: right
Rita: I don’t know it just didn’t occur to me that that was super fake
Mirthell: oh yeah super fake
Shasha: No, even with Artistry worlds like a skit channel when I was watching one of their videos remember we’re watching a video it was like a good Olympics and I was never playing Jamaicans they’re African-American I could tell because they were like bow Bow well yeah man
Rita: oh yeah I think they’re like in texas so yeah yeah
Shalom: but like I don’t know growing up I was kind of sad that I didn’t have an accent because growing up we used to live near like a lot of Jamaicans
Rita: right yeah you all sound like me
Shalom: and African Africans too and so like there’s like the Africans there are the Jamaicans and then there are African-Americans who have you known their accents from the south and stuff
Rita: yeah but not where we lived for a while because we lived in Toronto for a bit and it was like we were like the only black Americans except for maybe like two other people I knew
Shiloh: well I used to have a new york accent but um I don’t even know how I even got it like
Sinead: well we all know how you got it from watching super Mario
Rita: Super Mario right
Shiloh: oh no yeah
Sinead: yes yes
Shiloh: first off I don’t even know how to even town new york anymore because I forgot
Rita: it was coming naturally it was my natural
Mirthell: you used to watch super Mario so much you would be like hey your dad it was a good night it’s not a time
Rita: not what he sounded like
Sinead: he had the new york tweak like literally yeah like he came from the city we never lived in new york city it would be like buffalo like um we did not live in new york city there’s no city accent in buffalo I’ll tell you that
Rita: no no it was like core or something I’m going to go to the core
Sinead: it was like a Brooklyn
Rita: yeah like a Brooklyn accent
Mirthell: I’m not quite sure how he got it
Shasha: have you heard of a lot of kids these days are speaking British because they’re watching Peppa pig
Rita: I have heard that
Shasha: there’s a whole pandemic of kids.
Mirthell: no way
Shasha: parents are recording their kids they’re speaking like hello hello that’s literally, it’s literally on the news and I was like that kinda been Shiloh too
Mirthell: That’s Hilarious!
Shiloh: I watched Peppa pig too but I never sound British in my life
Shasha: well a lot of kids are like they’re like you know because they think it’s as fun
Mirthell: yeah I think when you started watching Peppa pig at a certain age and you’re not going to pick it up but if you start young
Sinead: yeah if you start young because Shiloh was young when he was watching super Mario like really young
Mirthell: right
Shalom: So is that like the theory like when you watch something over and over as a kid you’re gonna pick up the accent?
Sinead: okay let’s see what did you guys watch when you were younger that made you talk the way you talk a lot of Disney channels
Shasha: SpongeBob
Sinead: you talk like SpongeBob?
Shiloh: I mean I think we got an acting gimmick from shows like Disney shows probably Disney nickelodeon
Sinead: yeah you have to like and talk like this
Shasha: do you guys have a show voice and a regular voice like you know how some people you got to fake your voice
Rita: yeah well yeah even when I started the podcast because when like we’re all talking I’m just talking but I’m not going hi guys welcome to the onyx family podcast
Mirthell: right it’s a little bit more chipper but we’re more like laid back
Rita: And you should see us before a video you know how we’re all okay guys do this and then we start the videos like hey guys
Mirthell: yeah action but it’s sort of like you know just like a low tone
Sinead: when I talk to you guys my voice is deeper but when I’m talking like on camera my voice is infinitely higher yeah like I don’t think I just talk like maybe I do I don’t know
Mirthell: so I don’t know is that like faking it like are we being our true selves or is that just another part of our true selves like because I feel like everybody does it I feel like all actors all people in you know celebrities they either turn it up or they do something different
Sinead: that’s the thing right turning up or turning on
Mirthell: have you ever met a celebrity where celebrity is completely different than their character and then and then you’re expecting you’re expecting
Rita: recently yes and they seemed extremely different than what I expected them to be yeah i
expected them to be like turning up and then
Mirthell: oh yeah that’s right I know I know what you’re talking about
Rita: it was the exact opposite not that it was bad it was just like
Sinead: you know you don’t expect it because when you’re seeing someone constantly in the setting, you’re just fully expecting them to act the way they act on whatever they’re on
Rita: right I expected them to be on like another level
Mirthell: yeah this person was chill
Rita: they were just so calm so chill felt like man I could just sleep right now not like it was boring but it was just so relaxing
Sinead: relaxing yeah
Shiloh: who was that person
Mirthell: yeah different oh no we’re not gonna go there
Shiloh: wait wait
Mirthell: no no no no no no no
Shalom: But didn’t Kim Kardashian’s daughter like to call out Kim Kardashian for that?
Shasha: really
Rita: yeah I just saw it was funny because she’s like why do you sound like that when you do videos and then Kim Kardashian was like what do you mean what do I sound like what and then north it was north she was going hi guys this is my video like she was making fun of her mom like that, oh wow I don’t sound like that and then another the Penelope which I think is the other.
Sinead: yeah the nieces, her nieces
Rita: what was that what’s her mother’s name
Shalom: Courtney?
Rita: yeah Courtney’s daughter was like yeah actually you do
Mirthell: So hold on how old are they? How old are they?
Shalom: I think they’re eight
Mirthell: oh wow
Sinead: Are they eight already?
Mirthell: what so I wonder what Kim Kardashian sounds like then like what is her regular voice is like it was so good
Rita: I don’t know, I never met her in person
Mirthell: you don’t know like we don’t know like it could be that way because we were watching um Paris Hilton her documentation.
Rita: documentary yeah
Mirthell: and it’s just like she was her voice is way deeper than what like you know
Sinead: she’s been put up not like deep but like you know it’s just
Rita: yeah it was the more normal tone I remember years ago you and I watched the simple life and I thought it was interesting because on the simple life she pretended like she didn’t know what is a mop and what is a sponge what do I do with this and her voice was higher and then you see in the documentary that not only is her voice completely different but because she had gone away to one of those schools where they make you you know.
Sinead: most disciplinary
Rita: yeah disciplinary the school she knew really how to clean she knew how to do all
Mirthell: wow
Rita: but you know for the camera you got to like to ham it up to you got to turn it upright
Shasha: yeah because she sounds like you know you know the average 2000 bombshell you know pink and like you know you never know that stuff
Mirthell: yeah very prissy but in that show, I also learned that her sister said that she is more like a guy like she acts a lot she like guys things and she acts a lot like a guy like a tomboy right so she just took she put on a completely different persona
Rita: right she even says it herself Paris even says it herself in her documentary that all of this is like a character it’s a character and even his mom said it
Sinead: yeah she said she prefers to be in her sweats and stuff in the documentary and stuff rather than you know in all the dresses and stuff like that she’s awesome
Shalom: she sounds like me honestly
Rita: but she knows what she’s got to do to make it she changes every two hours in a new outfit yeah
Sinead: yeah she gets sent clothes and she gets to she tries it on
Mirthell: every two hours every day even if there’s not a filter even if she’s not filming
Rita: no she takes a picture in it.
Shasha: Wait, no what? not for her where do you have to dress like what
Shalom: for Instagram of course.
Mirthell: for her Instagram?
Sinead: I don’t even know she posts all of them on Instagram, to be honest.
Mirthell: do you know what also shocked me is that she’s a DJ and that’s what she likes to do yeah yeah she’s a DJ like a real DJ DJ
Rita: full-time DJ and she’s beautiful and she’s big we saw her perform for wonderland yeah and um was it Belgium it was like hundreds of thousands of people
Mirthell: their thousands and thousands of people yeah yeah yeah like DJ Khaled
Shasha: this is like you telling me right now that Beyonce is a secret footballer
Mirthell: right right so she has so when you see people like that when you see people like Paris or when you probably if you can say the Onyx family like you honestly don’t know who people are you know you don’t know they could be anybody like good or bad like you just don’t know people because you don’t know what the front that they’re showing the mask that they’re showing versus who they are inside.
Rita: right that’s true well I mean I think for us I think that now with the podcast you guys are getting to know us just a bit more, yeah but I mean honestly unless you probably lived with us you wouldn’t know us right like maybe you know or maybe our close friends or family that know us but you know I don’t think though that what we do though is any sort of like clickbait now I know on youtube, clickbait has like this connotation of when you put a title on there or a thumbnail on there that makes people say oh my goodness I gotta watch that and then it turns out to be something completely false or completely different and I mean I think every YouTuber has done that but the term clickbait is such a new term so recently we saw the Netflix series clickbait and guys all I will say is that you will never guess right who was the person that started everything going
Mirthell: right because the premise of the show is that somebody died somebody got killed and it’s like one of those who did it
Rita: well the thing is what it was is he was kidnapped on his way to work and later his family just happened to randomly see this video where he looked like he had been beaten and he was holding a sign that said I abuse women and if this video gets 5 million views I die and
then another sign that also said um I killed a woman now like I said we’re not going to say what happens but that was clickbait right there because anybody that sees that thumbnail 5 million views I die now you have a moral responsibility are you going to click on it you know are you going to add to the view or now are you going to let your curiosity get you and you want to click on it to see it.
Shalom: can I just say that at one point when I was watching the episode the sister was just constantly watching it and I was like girl you’re like causing this
Rita: no but you could visit the video without turning it on right and see the views
Shalom: No that’s adding a view
Sinead: no no no no totally was she watching it constantly?
Shalom: yes
Sinead: Then she was adding a view
Mirthell: yeah yeah yeah
Rita: I thought I had thought about that but then I thought what she was doing was that she was going to the page
Sinead: There’s no page for a video
Mirthell: yeah yeah video it’s not like youtube it’s just it’s an original page
Shalom: like when you press on
Sinead: oh it was an original page on there
Mirthell: yeah I don’t think it was like youtube, yeah you see the view
Rita: Because it wasn’t YouTube it was like uh some other made-up site
Shalom: okay, because like I had youtube on my mind so I was like okay I associated with that
Mirthell: but here’s the thing like you start to think like this person must have done it that person must have done it and it just seemed not obvious but kind of obvious but the person that ended up like is like blow your mind like
Rita: They actually could have called this series catfish yes because that was really what happened to the catfish and I don’t know Shiloh. Do you know what catfish means?
Shiloh: yes like when you pretend to be someone and not them
Mirthell: oh okay so you yeah
Rita: online right?
Shiloh: yeah of course
Rita: yeah do you think nowadays guys that it’s easy to be catfished
Sinead: yeah
Shiloh: definitely yes definitely
Mirthell: see I think that the problem is is that people are so thirsty for emotional relationships that they don’t vet people who they’re talking to and if that person keeps on giving them excuses feels so good that that relationship that friendship that they have that they’ll just keep on giving people a pass but for me, I’m sorry like if I was out there making friends online if I wasn’t married and I was looking for a relationship one of the things I would have to see is I would have to facetime the person at least I don’t care where they live at least facetime
Rita: well I think for me I think it’s harder to catfish nowadays than I think it was when the internet first came out
Sinead: really
Rita: yeah because when the internet first came out we didn’t have all this video aspect to it
Sinead: oh so now if you ask someone to facetime and they say no then it’s like oh obviously you might want to show your face
Rita: that’s all I’m saying and nowadays it’s almost expected that you have some sort of internet presence so like where are you on LinkedIn are you on Instagram are you on TikTok are you on youtube yeah
Shiloh: LinkedIn?
Rita: even LinkedIn Yeah, because I’m trying to include even the older adults right
Shalom: That’s like when you’re in the dating scene right and then like you check on someone’s profile like and you just see they have nothing on their profile, it’s like
Rita: right and that’s exactly that’s why I knew Shiloh was going to say LinkedIn but there’s a certain group of people who are a certain age that it’s like well at least you gotta at least be there
Mirthell: yeah because when you’re dating when you’re older you’re interested in who is this person do they make money right it’s not just like oh she’s cute he’s cute like yeah do you make money do you you don’t play exactly you even have to go deeper and like I mean I mean this might be going to a different topic stocking but like you kind of have to like put names in and say did they get a criminal record or you know whatever
Rita: no but it’s true because like especially back in the day we used to have like chat rooms and you were instructed don’t put your real name make up a name so that’s how we grew up thinking okay you gotta make sure you put a fake name nobody knows you and the whole premise was to be as anonymous as possible and now that the internet has evolved now it’s like the complete opposite you gotta be authentic you got to be yeah you got to make sure that you’re showing yourself and now the problem is now I think people probably reveal too much and now there’s no privacy but
Mirthell: doesn’t it kind of annoy you or maybe that’s the wrong word annoy but doesn’t it set up red flags when you see somebody and they don’t put up any pictures no recent pictures they usually have that like little shadow thing and if you go to any of their sites they don’t have any personal information nothing don’t you just say to yourself wait for a second what’s going on here who is this person why are you and I and the reason why I say that is because sometimes people try to friend me a right friend request and I’ll be like okay well let me see if I know you okay you have a few mutual friends so that means that you must be either like spamming or something okay so now let me just check out your page nothing no pictures no I’m like no you’re not gonna be my friend like I don’t know you
Shalom: I guess there’s like two sides to this because there are people who are not into social media and they’re just focused on you know living their life and everything like that and
then there’s a side like you know maybe you should be able to have a social media presence just to let people know who you are your job because you know even jobs are looking at your tweets and stuff and your LinkedIn and maybe even your Instagram and social media so I think there’s like both sides to the story but it just depends probably when you are in life
Rita: I don’t know I think that you need to I think it’s one of those necessities in life now yeah you know
Sinead: like choice now
Mirthell: right we have a few family members that have uh false names
Rita: oh I know
Mirthell: Totally made up names
Rita: Totally made up.
Shasha: there’s nigga extreme with catfishing so one episode of catfish this guy was convinced that he had a relationship with Katy perry so much that he had he bought an engagement ring for her and when I found out that he was being catfished he still wouldn’t believe it so even if he saw the catfish it was snappy
Mirthell: I’m sorry there’s some there might be some emotional mental psychological issues going on um if you think that you’re going to be with a celebrity you
Sinead: I just want to know who it turned out to be
Shasha: a random person
Sinead: like a male-female?
Shasha: I’ve ever gone there’s another one where this girl was catfishing her cousin because he fast shamed her so she was getting back at the cousin
Rita: whoa you know that’s the thing that i learned from the show catfish what I learned actually was that people are not doing this always to look for the love they’re people who make a sport out of it that’s one people who are trolling people who are trying to get back at someone and sometimes people who are just like i don’t know I was just bored it’s just like how do you play with someone’s emotions like that and the people are all devastated that’s why that show clickbait you’ll never guess who it was because it was one of those were just like wait for what why and when you think about like catfishing like a lot of times I think people like really just assume the person that that is catfishing is really emotionally invested and they’re really not a lot of times now like I said we’re not even talking about stalking because catfishing can run all the way from stalking to like I said people who are just kind of like ah it was just something to do so that’s why you got to really be careful about who you talk to online can you guys tell me right now that you guys know everybody you’ve spoken to online
Shalom: I don’t speak to people online and when I do I just comment on their photos but I don’t go to the point where I’m like hey let’s meet up or hi how are you doing I’m that’s not me
Shasha: I don’t talk to people online responding to stories yeah like oh that’s a cool photo but usually you can see the person like
Sinead: yeah usually you can see the person on the channel spam accounts like yeah no
Shiloh: I know mostly everyone online so I mean yeah
Shasha: like you know them like in real life like from your life or you
Sinead: or you’ve seen their face
Shiloh: yeah yeah but like you can just be like a gaming buddy and you don’t even have to wait to show your face like
Mirthell: right it’s not that deep when you’re gaming
Shiloh: it’s not that deep but if you have like
Sinead: a relationship
Shiloh: yeah relationship with them like, of course, you have to check
Shasha: like people who game don’t know who they’re gaming with
Mirthell: not really, not all the time
Sinead: You don’t have to, because when you’re online you just game together but you don’t have to know certain things, you’re just gaming you’re just having fun it’s just like hanging out
Shiloh: but if you’re like yo I’m feeling some sort of like affection and of course, you’re gonna = have to at least get some
Mirthell: yeah
Shiloh: get some proof or whatever
Mirthell: right yeah
Sinead: it is for me and I would not recommend doing this but I did use to go and like chat with strangers on Omegle
Shasha: oh man
Sinead: and I don’t recommend doing that so I would say no I did not know everyone that I talked to online.
Rita: I did not approve that and I found out after.
Shalom: wait, when was this?
Sinead: years ago
Shiloh: no
Sinead: years ago
Rita: How many times did you do that?
Sinead: just like a couple of times but not like it’s not like I was doing it like ever
Rita: was that when you got in trouble?
Sinead: yes that’s when I got into trouble
Mirthell: like 16 or something
Rita: When I found out let’s put a stop to that quick
Sinead: because you don’t listen when you’re young you can make some dumb decisions like this I’m saying I don’t recommend doing that you’re looking still
Shasha: and a lot would go to Omegle for fun I’m like
Rita: the thing about Omegle is though at least you see the people no
Sinead: there’s two different
Shiloh: no no no no
Sinead: no there’s a chat one where you can see people and then there’s one which just words
Rita: oh I didn’t know
Sinead: I never did the video one
Shalom: no never your anxiety would never
Shiloh: no because on Omegle the videos can get sometimes really really uh yeah
Sinead: yeah
Mirthell: Omegle like I this is the first time I’ve even heard of that site.
Sinead: oh it’s very popular
Shiloh: it’s very popular I’ve heard of Omegle I’ve seen light light
Mirthell: I just can’t keep up I can’t keep up with society’s new stuff
Rita: yeah I’ve never used Omegle I remember coming home from school and hearing you’ve got mail now I was like you were making unwise decisions because AOL was so new it was so crazy to be able to just speak to I don’t know different people online and I remember just like this whole world opened up this is even before the world wide web we didn’t even know about what the world wide web was all we knew was like chat rooms that were it and so to see how it started from that to you know where we are today and then people like the internet has been around long enough I think where I can’t understand why certain people are still being tricked why people are still being allowed to do certain things like I don’t get it you know but I also know as a parent that you can do your best and if your child wants to do something because they’ve heard about it or whatever they’re gonna do it.
Mirthell: they’ll find a way
Rita: they’ll find a way
Mirthell: they will find a phone of some type of burner phone or something and then they will have a secret account to hide the phone and you will be regulating their phone that you gave them they got another phone.
Shasha: oh you can burn their phones
Sinead: oh my friends
Mirthell: your friend got a phone that
Sinead: yeah I had a burner phone
Shasha: What’s a burner phone?
Mirthell: it’s like a second phone that nobody else knows that you have
Sinead: no no no it’s just basically just for the internet because you can still connect it to the internet you don’t have to necessarily have no and if you’re especially if you connect your same apple account say you connect your apple account you can still get messages from apple account stuff like that and
Mirthell: you can still text there’s it’s limited you can there are limited things on certain phones but the concept is getting another phone and connecting it and then your parents won’t know
Sinead: we’re revealing all the secrets for all the parents out there
Mirthell: check underneath the mattress you know
Shasha: why do people need to even do that like
Shalom: because they want to do whatever they want
Mirthell: right
Rita: I don’t know like you know for me I think that for a lot of people catfishing I think has been around even before the internet and I just want to talk about like something that happened in like my high school now it wasn’t me but it was a friend of mine and I don’t even know who really who all watches this so you might be familiar if you maybe went to high school with me and you know what happened but I’ll just I won’t say names but there was someone that was I went to high school with and she brought a picture of her brother and this brother looked nothing like her I mean nothing and he not to say she was not you know good-looking I don’t know but the brother was fine I mean he was one of the most good-looking he was like the best-looking person outside
Mirthell: someone like me myself he was thank you
Rita: like he was just like picking up people I’ve ever we’ve ever seen like we all look at this guy and we all went that’s your brother no and immediately I already knew this is not her brother um also the picture looked like it was cut out of a yearbook okay that’s your brother and that’s the only type of picture you have like a yearbook cut out a picture that’s something’s not right but immediately some other girls were like introduce me I wasn’t saying that because I knew that this is not real.
Mirthell: thirsty you know first of all I just want to say thirsty when you’re thirsty
you will allow yourself to go anywhere imaginary like
Rita: but the interesting thing though is that the girl that ended up saying like introduce me now she was the least thirsty out of everybody because she’d had a lot of boyfriends at that time I didn’t even have I don’t think I even had a boyfriend ever at that time so or if I did it was like
nothing was like you know like I like you but that should have been me more like but I could see immediately like oh yeah this is not real so I was surprised at the person who did say who did fall for that now it was almost low that she was targeted because that girl wanted to be like best friends with the girl that she was going to introduce her brother to okay so now they start talking and I hear through the grapevine that they’ve been talking on the phone every night and I said to so I said to the girl
Shasha: the brother?
Rita: the brother and the girl that the sister introduced her to which is another friend of ours okay so I hear that they’re talking every night
Mirthell: so she’s not gonna recognize her voice
Rita: well no but this is the thing we don’t know what happened yet though just wait so I’m like so you’re talking to the brother every night like what are you all talking about oh Rita he is oh my goodness he’s so understanding he’s like my best friend he makes me laugh we talk about everything um Rita like he is he tells me about his practice okay because not only was he like this like model looking guy he also was on the UCLA football team supposedly okay the space was way too pretty for that and um I was like really and I’m like so immediately I’m like and this is before we had the internet as we have it now because I was like
Mirthell: you couldn’t even search
Rita: I wanted to search it up so a group of other people started trying to get information like how do we get the roster of the UCLA and then we asked the sister can we have a roster can you show us who it is.
Shasha: um asking for a receipt
Rita: Yeah we were and she’s like oh yeah I’ll bring it tomorrow oh sure anyway so now I’m hearing that this is progressing now they’re not just talking now they’re dating I said so you
met him then no no we haven’t met in person but we’re going to we’re about to meet in person but you know I love him he loves me and we are like we’re
Mirthell: let me just tell you this sounds disastrous it sounds like
Sinead: oh my goodness
Rita: I’m totally like what now the sister she now starts to is she started to act weird
Mirthell: so the girl that is saying she had a brother is starting to act weird?
Rita: yeah she’s starting to act weird with me because I’m the one kind of raising the alarm with people like this isn’t normal I don’t think this is real she doesn’t like that I’m doing that I forgot to say though she was a new student so this wasn’t even someone like we had known over the years this was a new student that year nobody knew her outside of you know school
Shasha: red alarms
Rita: right and we were at a school where a lot of us have been interconnected for years because it was a church school and we all kind of went to different churches in around la so we knew each other like a lot of people like even if you didn’t know someone like someone didn’t know me per se someone might know as a lot of my other friends
Mirthell: and nobody knew this person but
Rita: nobody knew her so she started acting weird with me she started trying to get close to my good friends she would say Rita what grade did you get on this test then she would go around and tell everybody that that was her grade I played the violin and the clarinet and the viola and all of a sudden she was like oh I play the violin too and I play the clarinet yes I played the paranoid and I got an award for playing the clarinet and I’m like really wait I said you play the clarinet and the violin
Shasha: okay Squidward
Shiloh: wait, you play the clarinet?
Mirthell: yeah mommy play, she plays like five should play the clarinet viola
Sinead: oh my goodness
Mirthell: violin-piano
Rita: violin-piano bass clarinet
Shiloh: I did not know you’re playing clarinet, I never see you doing that
Rita: I did for years so basically I was just like okay this is weird then one day we’re outside of this hallway it’s just a few of us everybody was in class but for some reason, we were just about to go into class she drops on the ground and she starts having like a seizure and I said what I’m like totally shocked and but something made me go I don’t know if this is real but maybe just in case it is because you know at this point I didn’t have any medical training right so we’re like let me let’s call 9-1-1 we’re like so we go get somebody from the office and by the time
she’s back she’s like no I’m fine.
Mirthell: so hold on just curiosity did she like fall out after you started trapping her into questions
Rita: yes, all I know is that it wasn’t like I was questioning her right at that moment when she started pretending she was having a seizure was when I started raising questions and I don’t know she was trying to maybe make me more sympathetic towards her by pretending I have some seizure disorder so when I get the person from the office she’s all like no I’m fine and the woman’s like are you sure let’s maybe you should go home she goes no no I’m okay it just happens now and then we’re like well where’s your medication um I forgot it now at this point I’m just watching like this is so fake.
Mirthell: this is an accident
Rita: and you know I didn’t even have like I said medical training at that point, you guys know that I was a nurse practitioner before I was doing all this now so now I know what it looks like when people pass out and that was not that this was way too bad
Sinead: looking back for like what
Rita: she protected her head okay she fell that is not normal so anyways the person from the office leaves and she fakes like she’s having another one now this at this point I’m like um all right you’re gonna be all right you know and I just kind of like going in the classroom and she because I mean I knew she was faking
Mirthell: so you just left her on the floor?
Rita: well she was starting to come out of it and everybody else was all worked up and I didn’t want to look bad but I was like uh so I kind of went in the room like she’ll be okay you know and so basically I was like man this is weird then I started to get all these prank phone calls you know and I’m like okay this behavior and I knew who it was so one day I confront her and I’m like listen don’t call my house anymore I know it’s you no Rita what are you talking about I don’t know what are you talking about that’s not me I wonder who’s doing that and I’m like just like cut that you know what you know it’s you just stop
Mirthell: right
Rita: so at this point I’m like I just gotta stay away from this girl because this is like she’s catfishing this other person this is before we even knew the word catfish but she’s like faking it with this other person she’s acting weird with me I don’t know what’s going on so now everybody’s starting to think like maybe something is up.
Shasha: wait it took you guys that long?
Sinead: so I have a question how long did all this span like like
Rita: man I would say
Mirthell: the full school year or was it
Rita: I wouldn’t say the full it was like almost the full school year
Sinead: man that is a long time
Rita: because people were not wanting to see the truth they were not
Sinead: That is a long time
Mirthell: So how was this resolved?
Rita: so what happened was our friend who was like saying that she was not going out she says you know what I’m gonna go and I’m just gonna spontaneously go to the house because I’ve been trying to meet him for a long time and this is just like I gotta know if it’s him now she told me recently that the brother supposedly got braces recently and I said braces I saw his picture like guys he looked like he would perfect everything so why would he have braces what are you saying braces? so this is just key to the story, okay so I’m like what are you saying I said because you know I said that he sounds a lot like his sister and then all of a sudden now he gets braces
Shasha: he can’t speak?
Rita: so now it would change the way he speaks right
Sinead: huh
Rita: so I said hmm so she said yeah I’m going to go and we’re going to spontaneously go to the house so next week I’m wondering okay like what happened what ended up happening because I noticed that there were people who were usually at school they weren’t there and so the friend of ours her best friend comes to me and she says to me let me tell you what happened we went by the house.
Mirthell: after talking on the phone
Rita: yeah and
Mirthell: They’re talking on the phone
Rita: pretended we were on the phone but what we did was we were like oh like hold on a second because what they did was they got on a phone cause remember this before cell phones right they got on a phone very close to where her house was
Mirthell: like a payphone or something
Rita: yeah to make sure she was home and they were like hold on a second then they left it off the hook raced to the house so that she couldn’t leave they go to the house she opens the door the sister opens the door and they see that she has foil on her teeth
Mirthell: that’s crazy
Rita: yes
Mirthell: she went deep she went all-in
Sinead: Yeah I didn’t know that they had that kind of plan I didn’t know that they called in the payphone drove over this was like a whole movie
Rita: it was it’s like something you see on like on tv
Mirthell: but she was in full character like when she dressed like what she did she have like a tie on and
Rita: yeah that girl always dressed like
Mirthell: like a guy oh okay
Rita: so it was like she already was like that now she had the braces they opened the door and they kind of like barge in there’s no pictures of the brother there’s there’s no one there and it just fell on her it was her like what we knew this whole time but guys the sad part about this is really devastated my friend not so much like she felt like oh the love of my life nothing like that it was embarrassment and she felt humiliated so later what happened was her best friend actually took me to the side and she said rita I want to make an apology and I’m speaking on behalf of her as well we want to apologize to you because we really should have believed you uh from the beginning i didn’t know this was happening but apparently the sister the fake sister was um speaking really bad about me behind my back because she was trying to now poison their minds against me and she’s like we couldn’t figure out why was she so angry with you why was she always rolling her eyes up you know behind your back and speaking all this garbage about you but now we get what she was doing and we want to apologize and I was like listen you don’t even have to apologize to meI was just trying to like to warn you guys because i didn’t want anybody to get hurt now this is the thing she takes probably two weeks off of school because she doesn’t want to face everybody the other girl also is not coming to school now
this is now we’re coming towards the end of school now.
Mirthell: right and that they come back for exams
Rita: yes because now it’s just like now what happens when they see each other right because you know but all I know is that the girl who did this catfishing came back first and everybody knew what had happened and we were at an assembly the whole school was there she comes and she stands behind everybody we’re all seated and we don’t even know she’s there until we get dismissed and we all get up from our seats and we all see her and everyone’s like oh my goodness you know like I can’t believe she’s here now she’s crying she’s standing back there and nobody except for one person I think reached out to her and it was another friend of mine who reached out to her and she was being like-kind to her and everyone was like what are you doing why are you talking to her like look what she did she’s like I know she made a mistake but I still want
Mirthell: Oh that was so nice
Rita: you know who this person is and I still want to you know being kind to her I still want to be nice to her and years later I mean the way the thing ended I don’t even think they ever saw each other face to face again after that I don’t know because I don’t remember I honestly don’t remember them being at school at the same time again after that because we had finals and then we were just kind of like moved on yes but she didn’t come back to school for that next year except for one day the woman the girl who catfished next year she wasn’t even a student but one day she just decided to come on campus and was like hey Rita what’s up and then she was like asking for different people and um we were in class and I go in the classroom one of my i was like in english class and I go into english class and I stated like some of the people there are like do you know who’s out there and they’re like who and i was saying who it was and they were like what and I don’t know why we all felt really scared we were like what is this.
Mirthell: was this the days was this columbine day like
Rita: Its pre-column by like still scared like because you knew like something was up but regardless now and then though and this is what I find weird now and then I will get a friend request on Facebook now it’s never her but it’s always the people in that particular circle that she tried to be friends
Mirthell: wait is it the gray shadow person I was talking about earlier where they don’t have pictures
Rita: no she uses a fake profile it’s always like some model looking
Mirthell: oh okay oh
Rita: but the reason why I feel like it could be her is that the people who are friends with her they’re specific
Mirthell: all the people from high school
Rita: not all the people but all the people that she was trying to befriend and then me right and so one day I DM’d one of like an actual mutual friend I’m like do you know this person she goes no I thought it was weird though but I just accepted the friendship request because I didn’t know and I’m like I think it’s so and so and she was like oh you’re kidding she goes that’s so true anyway
Mirthell: the saga continues into your adulthood.
Rita: it’s so weird
Mirthell: she could be a 40-year-old woman
Rita: I just want to say one more thing though we have another person that went to high school with we were talking about the situation maybe a few years back and she said you know I feel very bad for her because I feel like she was confused about her identity and I felt that she should not have done gone about it that way but I felt bad that we didn’t show her more empathy
Mirthell: yeah she was looking for acceptance.
Rita: and we only showed empathy for the victim and I just was like I never looked at it like that
because I had my things that she was trying to do with me so I was just like
but I looked back and I thought wow now that it takes an adult and I think the difference between maybe my generation and your generation is I think you guys think about these things a lot earlier
Mirthell: people are more about these days people are like this is my true self and if you don’t like me for who I am if you don’t accept me then I will find people that will right and we were in the generation where you did have to try and fit in.
Rita: yeah and I think you guys would have shown empathy I do and I think that my friend that did show empathy to hear the other person I was telling you about like she was very forward-thinking at that point I walked by like don’t even talk to me
Mirthell: I didn’t even know she was four thinking but I know who you’re talking about and
she’s very christ-like she’s very about christ and I think she was just being christ-like she just thought what would christ do and then she did it.
Rita: Well I mean I think so too but at the time I thought oh what are you this is fake like you being nice to her
Sinead: you know but the thing is that the girl had stuff against you specifically so oh it wasn’t your role to be like welcoming
Rita: yeah hi welcome back
Sinead: welcome back
Mirthell: right
Rita: yeah no and I just want to say like whoever does know the story because who
knows you could be watching I do look at it differently I don’t think that you know anybody should have been tricked I don’t think catfishing was right but I do think that there was more we could have done to accept and be there because I just want to say that person that did this the tricking when we had this like banquet she went but she was dressed in a tuxedo well all the other girls were dressed in dresses now nowadays that’s like what you want to do that’s your style but back then was the 90s everyone was like oh there was a lot of negative talks we have all you’ve grown and evolved I think in our thinking and how we love and show love to others
Mirthell: yeah and acceptance
Rita: yeah
Mirthell: right so behind catfishing and behind a lot of the cases
Rita: some catfishing
Mirthell: and besides behind a lot of the cases of people trying to find who they are there is a person that is just trying to be accepted just trying to be loved you were trying to be accepted in the black community be like what’s up
Rita: what’s up you know what I’m saying
Mirthell: and we find that a lot of times we go down these crazy roads to get acceptance oh no it’s just it’s an opportunity for us to just look for opportunities to love other people embrace them and accept them
[Music]
Shalom: wow what a great lesson on acceptance and just like trying to look on the other side of why people catfish I feel like that was good that’s my takeaway from this
Mirthell: being kind, being kind to others you can always be kind to others
Shalom: and to just be careful of who you’re talking to on the internet as well
Rita: right and this is even before the internet this is just the phone be careful who you’re talking to, on the phone
Mirthell: right hey accept me I sneeze
Rita: all right guys anyways thank you guys for joining us today and we will see you again soon
All: bye